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Who quotes themselves? I haven’t had the exposure for these to get out there in circulation, but I wanted to show my abilities, not just as an author, but as a thinker. If I die before they do, well here they are. Like Voltaire, Bertrand Russell, Tupac Shakur, Charles Bukowski, George Carlin, and most of the great authors, I try and include as much wisdom in my art form as I can, and so many of these quotes you can find in my work, along with many more than just those in this list. Copy and paste them on your digital hallmark holiday cards, if you wish.

“I find it strange that human beings have made a tool for absolutely everything out there, except for one that can fix a broken heart,” Dylan Christopher


“I am a firm believer that everything can be made better, which, technically, means everything has something wrong with it,” Dylan Christopher


“One must strive to be right about being wrong, as opposed to being wrong about being right,” Dylan Christopher


“Friends aren’t those that treat you well when you’re around, but those that treat you well when you’re not around,” Dylan Christopher


“Faith and hope are cute concepts for minds to grasp onto for some slick guy to make off with all the goods before it’s discovered what they were created for,” Dylan Christopher

“The people in this world will support your dream… …but they wont support your reality,” Dylan Christopher

“There is only one way forward, while sometimes it looks like there are two or three. This is just blurry vision from where the road has beaten you so badly that you can’t see straight,” Dylan Christopher


“Home is where the wallet is,” Dylan Christopher


“They don’t want you to take the law into your own hands, but it’s there regardless, in your own hands, whether you take to the law or not,” Dylan Christopher


“Never been to prison, still feel like I’m always trying to escape,” Dylan Christopher


“When a word has more than one definition, I grow suspicious. When a word means many different things, like freedom, I begin to doubt that it even exists,” Dylan Christopher

“A smile is indicative of a face blinded by illusion and captivated by a great lie,” Dylan Christopher


“Creation and destruction are merely two sides of the coin. You are destroying something old in the act of creating something new,” Dylan Christopher

““Teach me. Teach me more,” the master will say, for the master knows there is always more to learn,” Dylan Christopher

“In our world, you may have your own opinions, but beware, should they fall too out of line with the opinions of the rest of the world, facts will come to get you,” Dylan Christopher


“The American Dream is gone for the majority of us. What’s left are little politicians battling one another for who gets to be the one to convince us all that it’s still happening,” Dylan Christopher

"Don’t read them like a book. Read them like a business card," Dylan Christopher


“There’s only so many times you can get burned before you start seeing where the fires are coming from,” Dylan Christopher


“It isn’t until you lose control, shed the idea of ever having it, that you start to see those who seek so hard to control you,” Dylan Christopher

“I don’t follow trends, I adhere to eternal beauty,” Dylan Christopher


“If America could stop all of the arguments in politics and truly elect a super president that could get all of us on the same side of the big team to fix everything wrong in our country, it would defeat the entire point of America,” Dylan Christopher


“The funny thing about knowing things is that you can’t unknown them. Unless your memory is altered or somehow malfunctions or you want to know what it’s like to live in denial,” Dylan Christopher


“I don’t go to bars because I don’t want to pay someone who passed one to help the people that want to put me behind them so I have to live in a neighborhood where they cover my windows and doors,” Dylan Christopher

"Yes is the most powerful word in the English language, just after NO," Dylan Christopher


“People will tell you that being calculating is a bad thing. I say do the arithmetic and subtract them,” Dylan Christopher


“In this country winning is losing with dignity to losers with none of it,” Dylan Christopher


“On the ball field, opposing teams shake hands after the game. Off the ball field opposing teammates fill gas tanks with sugar and take one another to court,” Dylan Christopher


“Go to a psyche doctor, they’ll fix all the unknowable problems in your brain but they won’t fix even the simplest of problems in the world,” Dylan Christopher


“Learning is merely the process of getting to the bottom of what we already know,” Dylan Christopher


“People ask me how I get ahead. I say, I keep my toilet cleaner than my kitchen sink and my bedroom pillow under my feet while I scratch my ass with a toothbrush, while dreaming of how to keep my garbage can free of trash,” Dylan Christopher

“If I’m held to the standards of someone else’s religious belief system, by them, how can I be free to live by my own?” Dylan Christopher


“If you examine the world’s most wicked warlord and the highest most exalted purveyor of peace, you will find very few differences,” Dylan Christopher


“The world is 70% miscommunication, 20% flat out lies and 10% blueberry pancakes,” Dylan Christopher


“A world devoid of evil would scare most of us, I’m sure, more than a world devoid of good,” Dylan Christopher

"Writing novels all day long is a little bit like painting yourself into a corner that never ends to create an entire world of people that don’t exist to help paint you out of it," Dylan Christopher


“Men are competitive and behave the way they do, to impress women, who claim the way men behave doesn’t impress them, right before they choose the least impressive man,” Dylan Christopher


“Move forward with the wrong information and you’ll still be lost,” Dylan Christopher


“Big foot, aliens, Noah’s arc, world peace. It’s all about keeping people believing. If people stopped believing and started knowing, we’d have a serious panic on our hands,” Dylan Christopher


“You rarely if ever hear people in America talk bad about America. We even have people coming here from far away to join the club. While it’s been known as true forever that the first step to  improving something is to point out its flaws, should you dare to do so you will be hung upside down for speaking the truth. This is because Americans, and America itself, is a great lie, with a contest for who can be the greatest liar. And perhaps it is this way because that’s the best it can be fixed,” Dylan Christopher


“Meaning is the glue between every word, idea, and expression you’ve been taught and where it’s been stored away in your brain,” Dylan Christopher


“The idea that some of the least intelligent people could be in power is frightening. The fact that they are is terrifying beyond belief,” Dylan Christopher


“Keeping a man without money is like cutting off his,” Dylan Christopher


“If my thinking were reduced to one final thought, it would have to be one with a laugh attached to it,” Dylan Christopher

“Love is a dangerous practice. If you hate, you remember the things you don’t like. Should you love, you might find people trying to convince you to love that which you hate,” Dylan Christopher


“Most children are taught selfishness is a bad thing. But I think those other children with all the money are taught that it is good,” Dylan Christopher


“Organized religion isn’t so different than a casino. They want you playing along, believing you’ve got a chance, and nobody but an invisible man to blame when you lose,” Dylan Christopher


“The same people that work to keep you from having a life are the same people that will tell you to go and get one,” Dylan Christopher

"You haven’t been to the corner of the world until you’ve written a book," Dylan Christopher

“The brain weighs about three pounds. With eight billion people on earth, that makes twenty four billion pounds of brain matter. I think if perhaps it was all in one giant body, we might be able to save this planet from ourselves,” Dylan Christopher


“It is the fool who becomes dangerous when he realizes he is a fool, for then he can seek out other fools and fool them,” Dylan Christopher


“We’re a just in case society. We build nuclear bombs and stock piles of missiles and heavy artillery, claim that war is bad and that we’d never use them. But just in case,” Dylan Christopher


“We can control ourselves, and barely that, and what little control we master over others, situations, and objects, is little more than an illusion controlling us,” Dylan Christopher


“What is true is eternally true. How much you know of it is what changes,” Dylan Christopher


“Who really owes who, and why? If anybody can figure that one out, they should be nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize,” Dylan Christopher


“I see little difference between the behavior of adults and small children. Adults have just learned to lie better,” Dylan Christopher


“There are so many wrongs in this world, everyone should be apologizing to everyone, all the time,” Dylan Christopher


“Oh no, I stumbled upon the doorway to heaven and now I’m in the process of blowing it to smithereens to damn the people that tried to trick me into helping build it for them,” Dylan Christopher


“Just because you collect a paycheck doesn’t mean you’re not part of a system of slavery,” Dylan Christopher


“Your body is a delicate, very precise machine that you should be very careful with. But you don’t know this until it’s broken beyond being fixed,” Dylan Christopher.

“Don’t let who you were get in the way of who you are and who you are going to become,” Dylan Christopher


“Ahhh. The police. They’ll pull you over for doing five miles an hour over the speed limit while somebody else across town is getting mugged,” Dylan Christopher


“I used to believe god created us all equally. And then I began to believe that we are created as entirely unique individuals. And then I realized, because of our customs, behaviors, languages, habits, senses, desires, fears, faults and beliefs that we must be somewhere in between the two,” Dylan Christopher


“Most of us as children are shamed for our actions and behaviors and often more so for the families we come from. As we get older it’s our looks, our lack of athleticism, a fault with out intellectual abilities or academic achievements, disobedience and non conformity. Here we become who we are, never good enough with no way to make it up and only eternity facing us,” Dylan Christopher


“Me? I’m rotten. Rotten as one can be. And the most rotten thing one can be in this world is a good person,” Dylan Christopher


“I do not believe in god, god believes in me and that’s the way it should be,” Dylan Christopher

“Remember. If the poor were in power, there would be no rich,” Dylan Christopher

"Sleazy is a term to help explain people that get what they want by means that contradict the morality you were instilled with to ensure that you don’t," Dylan Christopher


"I find it strange, people will apologize, ‘sorry’ they say, like when speaking on the subject of a death in ones family, that they had no part of, but will refuse to so much as tip their hat after nearly running somebody off the road in traffic," Dylan Christopher

“Believing in something can happen in an instant. Proving it true or false can take more than a lifetime,” Dylan Christopher


“We spent ages working together to create civilization and now we’re working together to destroy it,” Dylan Christopher


“If mother nature didn’t intend for us to be eaten we would have evolved into mammals with plates of metal instead of skin,” Dylan Christopher


“In this country you’re only as free as your bank account takes you,” Dylan Christopher


“In all of the world’s understanding, things to be understood, it seems we must understand that man was not meant to understand himself,” Dylan Christopher


“I find it fascinating how easy it is in this society to break the law in the pursuit of money and how difficult it is to earn it,” Dylan Christopher


“The people that lied to you today will go to bed tonight and wake up and lie to you again tomorrow,” Dylan Christopher


“The pursuit of happiness and success.. is often at somebody else’s expense,” Dylan Christopher


“I am near convinced our lives are an argument. It is who is quickest to know that which is correct and that which is not and to what extent is that who gets the furthest with it, the argument,” Dylan Christopher


“Whether or not you believe in God is what matters. Whether or not he exists matters not,” Dylan Christopher


“I am a man of many words.. few of which I’ll ever speak,” Dylan Christopher

“Those with the least amount of hope, coincidently, are often those with the most amount of hope,” Dylan Christopher


“If Jesus died for our sins, and not accepting Jesus as god is blasphemy, a sin, then did Jesus die for us to not accept him as god?” Dylan Christopher


“If you think, we are dying the moment we are born. The clock is ticking down. But when do you set the clock? And so, why isn’t it said that the very moment the sperm inseminates the egg, a miraculous act of death has occurred, instead of life, two dying creatures meeting in a process to give the world something that is born to die,” Dylan Christopher


“Ego is essential. If I don't tell me I'm the best, who will?” Dylan Christopher

“In many cultures being polite, caring, kind, patient, honest, giving, courageous and remaining upbeat through life’s ups and downs are signs of a great leader. In our society it gets you a customer service position at McDonald's,” Dylan Christopher


“The measure of a great author is how well they can break your heart with a book,” Dylan Christopher

"Authors are like elaborate escape artists, building a box of words - The author must leave himself a key, to escape the traps he builds out of nouns and verbs," Dylan Christopher


“Make peace with yourself before all else,” Dylan Christopher


“We learn so much and yet we're so quick to forget it,” Dylan Christopher


“The older I get the more fascinated I am with everything happening around me and how little I want to change any of it,” Dylan Christopher


 “I can’t control the skies, the ocean, the traffic, the people, my bowels, but still, I get blamed for it if don’t,” Dylan Christopher


“It’s a two way street or it’s a head on collision,” Dylan Christopher


“The truth is always unpopular,” Dylan Christopher


“For as much responsibility we each have for making the best choices possible, it’s amazing how much of our fate lies in the hands of others,” Dylan Christopher


“When you write, if you make a mistake, you can always go back and fix it. When you make mistakes in life, seldom if ever can you go back fix it,” Dylan Christopher


“A wise man once said, “Don’t say anything.”," Dylan Christopher

“Cops. They’ll stop me from going somewhere in a hurry, but won’t stop kids from buying guns and shooting up schools,” Dylan Christopher


“I have no problem not drinking. I have the problem when I drink,” Dylan Christopher


“It isn’t the way the world is that matters, but the way it is inside your mind that does,” Dylan Christopher

“About the only thing left you can change in this world is your mind,” Dylan Christopher


“Send me love, ill send it back. And ask for a refund. And return postage,” Dylan Christopher


“Are our bodies doing everything for us, or are we doing everything for them?” Dylan Christopher


“We are held responsible for all of our actions, even if we are not responsible enough to understand them,” Dylan Christopher


“Hell is being in the wrong place at the wrong time, all of the time,” Dylan Christopher


“It is a good man that cannot see the evil in a bad man, as a bad man can see the good in a good man,” Dylan Christopher


“The greatest lies are the ones that everyone's still believing,” Dylan Christopher


“There’s nothing wrong with the law. What’s wrong is not making sure everyone has a copy of it and fully understands it before making their choices. And perhaps, what’s worst, is that copy is an entire library of books that nobody on earth has ever read cover to cover,” Dylan Christopher


“Hate has reason behind it. Love is illogical, a lack of reason, an illusion made to break people, with what could only be something more hateful than hate behind it,” Dylan Christopher


“Find me a cop who quits on his first day, after what he sees, I’ll show you an honest man,” Dylan Christopher


“It’s us that are being counted. Not the money,” Dylan Christopher


“At first the world is like a mirror, you see only yourself. Then, you get closer to the glass and you can see a reflection of other things. And in these things, you see people, perhaps the most interesting objects in the mirror. And as you study them, you see they are not in the mirror, but all around you, looking into mirrors of their own. And then, with some hard work, you can see their world, behind their eyes, behind the mirrors, and everything they are doing, and it is here that the reflection fully disappears,” Dylan Christopher

“Those with the most are those best at fooling those with the least,” Dylan Christopher


“The more you love something, the greater the pain when it goes,” Dylan Christopher


“These days to be successful in any career you’re in, you’re also required to be a conman and a swindler,” Dylan Christopher


“I’m not paranoid. I’m permanently suspicious,” Dylan Christopher


“Little children are so precious. They blame one another, lie wherever they can, cheat, take no responsibility for their actions, bully others they feel are different, steal if need be, act out aggressively and throw temper tantrums when they don’t get what they want. And in this society, I see no difference in their behavior from adults,” Dylan Christopher


“Fill someone with hope, they'll want to save the world. Fill them with the truth, they'll want to burn it to the ground,” Dylan Christopher


“Cowardice is an asset. Dishonesty, a commodity. Trust, a figment of the imagination,” Dylan Christopher


“The reason nobody helps anyone else is because everyone is so busy helping themselves,” Dylan Christopher


“The first thing any sane person wants to do when they meet you is change your mind,” Dylan Christopher


“What's the difference between good and evil, good and bad, right and wrong? It depends on who's convincing you where to draw the lines,” Dylan Christopher


“Jail is for the stupid. Not the evil,” Dylan Christopher


“The truth may never be thought of, considered, or even spoken, but it still exists,” Dylan Christopher


“Rising to the top seems a game of who can best fool the poor,” Dylan Christopher


“It isn’t luck that makes someone rich. If it were, when their luck ran out they would be poor,” Dylan Christopher


“People really aren’t all that different. The realm of possibility for the human body is extremely limited, our movements, language, and what we share, and so our uniqueness is defined by a flicker of something behind our social security numbers,” Dylan Christopher


“I often wonder, if I’m someone’s second choice, savings on the cent and the dollar, a slowly unfolding investment or an outright thief, out for their life savings, down to the last penny,” Dylan Christopher


“Thank god Harry Potter isn’t real. If he was, the evil people that run America would use the little bastard to turn me into one of their golf clubs,” Dylan Christopher


“My mind is a flower ripening from the sunshine of yesterday,” Dylan Christopher

“Doubt is a useless downward spiral. For without doubt, we become certain and create the outcome that we want,” Dylan Christopher


“Idealism is an idea beyond madness,” Dylan Christopher


“Competition denotes a fair fight and equal judging, rarely is this true anywhere in the world,” Dylan Christopher


“The most amazing thing you can learn is something so special you want to share it with nobody else,” Dylan Christopher


“Two hundred years ago love was considered madness, two thousand years before that and it didn’t exist. Half a century ago we had songs to remind us not to fall, and yet today, somehow, you’re not getting into the party unless you believe in love,” Dylan Christopher


“We all fight the same fight, but we don't all fight it the same way,” Dylan Christopher


“I’ve seen the look on enough faces to know that for most people, that precise moment of finding out that you’ve been chosen as a winner of something, is the same look you have while moving a large, long overdue shit,” Dylan Christopher


“One of the founding principles in this society, although nobody will ever tell you, is “You didn’t know it? Your fault,” Dylan Christopher

"Writing novels is somewhat like giving birth. It gets easier each time. Once you have ten, eleven novels under your belt you feel like some kind of great grandparent," Dylan Christopher


“Violence is never the answer, because you’ll go to jail. If you didn’t, it might solve every form of dispute on this planet,” Dylan Christopher


“As life goes on and reveals itself to me more, I don’t know whether to continue to laugh, or continue to cry,” Dylan Christopher


“When a crime is committed, it is unjust, and will continue to occur, as nobody can stop crime before it happens. And so what sort of justice should one expect to get out of a courtroom, but some greater crime?” Dylan Christopher

“If you follow the rules, you see that you can’t win. If you don’t follow them, they come and lock you up or kill you,” Dylan Christopher


“Atheism is the end all process for those seeking spiritual enlightenment,” Dylan Christopher


“Responsibility is the process of dissecting consequence in your mind at light speed to gauge what part you might have in something happening, or bound to happen, and understand it before it happens so you might change what part you have in it,” Dylan Christopher


“Immaculate conception = Perfect fuck ? Sign me up!” Dylan Christopher


“I start to think, in this capitalist world, if I signed my name on my driver's license to donate my organs this would set off a chain of events to have me dead and my organs up for grabs, to the highest bidder,” Dylan Christopher


“None of us are God. But most of us are treated as such, made to be as responsible as, and expected to be,” Dylan Christopher


“If we had eyes on our toes we would have a much better picture of the world as it is,” Dylan Christopher


“What would I say to my children, should I have them?

Sons. Daughters. You are going to meet a lot of people in your life that are going to take from you, wrong you, blame you, judge you and walk away with it as if nothing has transpired. And then, after all of it, once you are left with nothing but nightmares, clinging to a hospital sheet in a diaper, they will ask you to forgive them. As a parent, I ask that the very least you do is to not forgive,” Dylan Christopher


“Some days I think, God left us his kingdom and is laughing at us, doing our best to try and uphold it,” Dylan Christopher

“When bad things happen to good people, if you examine it closely, it’s often for good things to happen to rotten people,” Dylan Christopher


“The people in this world will support your dream… …but not your reality,” Dylan Christopher


“We can’t control our attractions, emotions, our heart beats, and yet me must control how we behave, while all of them are used against us,” Dylan Christopher


“The world’s problems are rather simple: those that owe – the apologies, the respect, honor and willingness to change, are refusing to pay,” Dylan Christopher


“Life is a nice magic trick. When people can’t use you for anything they disappear. And eventually the rest of it follows,” Dylan Christopher


“I’ve learned that social security and government assistance will provide you with free medical care, not because they care about your health, after all the cigarettes and alcohol and fast food they sold you, but because they want to keep you alive to torture you,” Dylan Christopher


“If you want to conquer the world, you don’t do it through war, you do it through peace,” Dylan Christopher


“Sleazy is a term to help explain people that get what they want by means that contradict the morality you were instilled with to ensure that you don’t,” Dylan Christopher

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